File Photo: A baboon
Word reaching us from ZimMail is that they have conducted a research and discovered that baboon urine is selling like hotcakes in Harare and the clients are married women who are flocking to buy it as it is believed too have the powers to domesticate men in the house. Many women are desperate to save their marriages and to this end they will resort to anything.
The whole logic behind the baboon urine remedy is that Baboons are very disciplined when it comes to matters of urinating, they only urinate in one place so even if a male baboon residing in Harare were to travel from Bulawayo to Harare it would hold it in till it got back to its habitat in Harare, so by coming up with the baboon urine concoction,it is believed that errant men who love to sleep around will ditch their small houses and only insert their bedroom cooking sticks into the one honey pot that they are supposed to stir, the one at home !
The ‘sacred’ love potion is originating from selected parts of Matabeleland regions, with Victoria Falls being the prime source of the ‘on demand’ animal excretion.
Investigations by the Zim Mail have revealed that ‘baboon urine’ is now commonplace in the streets of Harare, with the main supplier being situated at corner Sam Nujoma and Hebert Chitepo, among other various places.
The love potion, or libido enhancement herb is selling like hot cakes, with women jostling to buy the new ‘precious liquid’.
Women interviewed said baboon urine was the essential potion able to make husbands stay at home. ”I heard people say that baboon urine is the most effective love portion a woman can use to possess his husband. I have not used it myself but l think it is effective,” said a Harare woman, Chido Maramba.
Another lady, Charity disclosed that the concoction had been a life saver for her as the fire in her bedroom had died and her husband had been ignoring her and paying more attention to his smallhouse but things took a dramatic turn after she used the love potion and now the husband has since dumped the small-house and now demands that they sexercise bedroom gymnastics EVERY NIGHT.
One of the vendors was queried on how they obtained the precious “liquid gold” from the baboons and he became a bit evasive. ”We are getting most of it from Vic Falls since there are lots of baboons roaming that place. My guys who are there know how to access it from the baboons there.” he said. Its hard to fathom how the “guys”are able to collect the urine from baboons but there is a more logical school of thought which propounds that the collectors just go and scoop the soil on which the baboons would have urinated then sock it in a little water and drain the water which is then put into containers and sold to the desperate women. The women allegedly apply the urine onto their privates.
The Supplier is said to be making a killing as he sources the urine at $10 per two-litres and he then repackages it into small 200ml-bottles which are then put on the market at $2 each. A quick calculation here shows that the two litres he would have bought for $10 will realise $20 dollars for him,quiet a handsome profit!
The survey revealed that not only baboon urine is flooding the market but also a coffee brand meant to enhance performance in bed. Some of the drugs reportedly contain yohimbine, an alkaloid obtained from the bark of a West African tree, which increases blood flow in humans.
Source: Zimmail
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